So I read this bullshit post about "a woman's favorite feelings"

So I read this bullshit post about “a woman’s favorite feelings”

And it went something like this-

A woman’s favorite feeling is when..
-A man kisses her on the forehead
-She eats the first bite of a macaroon
-Feeling loved by a man
-Getting a brand new bottle of nail polish
-Coming home to packages of your online shopping orders

And some more hocus pocus BULL.

I mean, I’m not really sure what world you live in.. But I don’t even know what the fuck a macaroon tastes like and I don’t have enough money to be coming home to packages everyday.

BUT, a few feelings that I do enjoy are as follows-

-Taking off my bra at the end of every day, and unsuffocating my tits.
-When I shiver because going pee feels so damn good
-Sneezing more than twice in a row
-When I get into a hot car and get goosebumps
-Cleaning my ears with a q-tip after I shower
-Burping after drinking a beer

Does this still make me a woman?

Seriously, some of you girls need to get a grip on life. You don’t live in a magical fairytale. You live on earth, where the average human inhales about a liter of other peoples anal gasses a day, and weird fucks like to shit on each others chests.

Just saying.